 The magazine of the Melbourne PC User Group Communications Mania Dave Mitchell |
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So you've got your brand new computer and you've decided that you are going to get a modem to go with it. Wonderful - fantastic but beware, the pitfalls of electronic communication are just waiting out there with very large teeth to bite (or Byte) you.
I'm not going to go into the rigors of telling you how to set up your modem as this involves such esoteric language that my eyes cross every time I think about the six days -alright three weeks - that it took me to figure it out. Suffice it to say that this is a perfect opportunity to allow your more knowledgeable friends to display their abilities.
The first thing that you find out about the wonders of "modemming" is that there are lovely people out there who will actually let you have some of their files for nothing. "Yahoo", you say, "let me at 'em" and away you go and download megabyte after megabyte of files.
Not a problem until the phone bill arrives.
Let me tell you it's not a pleasant experience being half beaten to death with a phone bill. I discovered, to my pain, that even if you call within the Melbourne area there may be areas that cost you a timed call - I live in Endeavour Hills (no, it's not the sticks) and if I call a number in Werribee it costs 30c for each three minutes. Even if you are t being charged for time the temptation is there call as many BBSs (Bulletin Boards) as you can, to get the maximum amount of files you can, and all those calls mount up. So do the files on your hard drive but that's another story.
The second thing you discover (the best part in my opinion) is a phenomenon called "electronic mail" (e-mail) or messages. This is where you write a message while you're on the phone and put it on the bulletin board and people reply to you. It can be a message about anything that interests you or questions about problems you are having.
You generally find that most BBSs have a number of subject areas, or conferences, that carry messages relating to one subject (most of the time) and you can get yourself involved in all sorts of heated discussions and debates. Some of these conferences even go overseas so you have the opportunity (I know I did) to make a total idiot of yourself internationally. Jolly Fun.
Probably the best way to use the message base is to download the conferences you want to read to an off-line mail reader (I use Blue Wave) and then read and reply to messages at your leisure. The advantages of this are that it frees up the phone line for others (a bit like moving out of the fast lane if you're only doing 60 kph) and allows you to construct your replies as you want, the and to get rid of the typos.
Warning - When you make typos you can be guaranteed that the wags who are reading your messages will jump all over them and you'll get all sorts of humorous/cutting replies. Also remember that most of the time the messages are public so anyone and everyone can read them.
Warning 2 - This will get you in. I spend about four hours a day answering mail. As one of my taglines (a throw-away humorous line at the end of the message) says...
I used to have a life, now I have a modem!
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Tag Lines A few more Taglines, courtesy of "The Blue Wave Offline Mail Reader". SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere! Open mouth, insert foot, echo internationally. I know a good tagline when I steal one. A feature is a bug with seniority. Not tonight, dear. I have a modem. RAM DISK is NOT an installation procedure! DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"... Take my advice, I don't use it anyway. File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting. |
Reprinted from the November 1993 issue of PC Update, the magazine of Melbourne PC User Group, Australia
