 The magazine of the Melbourne PC User Group Eddies in the Ether Dave Mitchell |
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Boy, it's been a tiring month; I've been running, ducking and weaving the whole time, alternately trying to escape Col in who wants to do a "Bobitt" on me for encouraging all those new people to de-lurk on the message base, and avoiding a fervent group of Telemate users, led by their High Priest Tom Perrett, who want to give me a good thrashing. Maybe if they used Terminate they would not have to be so defensive. B-) (smiley)
Naturally the cat people, the lawyers and anybody else with a sense of decency are still howling for my blood-but that's normal. (I'm writing this from my concrete bunker deep in the Dandenongs.) I've got to apologise to the feminists out there 'cause I haven't got round to you, but you chicks will just have to wait.
I reckon I'm just misunderstood.
Aww, Honey! Just One More Monster
If you walked into a room full of average computer users and growled loudly I would almost bet money that half of them would spin around quickly with a shocked look on their faces while trying to shoot you with an imaginary shotgun. These poor individuals have been playing DOOM. In case you've been locked in a box for the last six months I'll just say that DOOM is the latest and greatest of massively violent shareware games. DOOM makes an eight car pile-up on the freeway look positively peaceful. It pits a 21st century soldier (you, Chucky) against the forces of hell-fortunately you have a range of high- and low-tech weapons to deal with the various critters along the way, including a chainsaw. (Now that really is gory).
DOOM tip No 1: Do not play DOOM in the dark, wearing headphones, with your sound card turned up full if you have weak bowels.
Anyway the upshot of this is that we have just the place for the mindlessly violent. It's our message area 27 - Games Talk. It's not just for the DOOMers, all game players are welcome. There were even some messages about noncomputer games. Still, it's a good echo for Hints and Tips for just about any computer game.
(You see folks, we reckon if we get all of these violent individuals in one area we can take them out with one preemptive tactical nuclear strike!)
Damn! Sort of lost the plot there.
Tactical errors
Remember back in March, when we had that big comms issue of PC Update and Tessa and I were encouraging all those lurkers out there to de-lurk? Well, maybe we were a bit hasty. Of recent date, we (the comfortably ensconced messagers) have been the subject of an almost daily harangue by starry-eyed ex-lurkers. Really folks, I've heard so many life stories now that I reckon I've got a fair idea how you're supposed to go about it. One of the new chaps is a psychiatrist - I think he's gathering info for a new thesis - he's in for a busy time.
You want to know how weird this gets? Well how about this. One of our new friends (Hi Ren!) was to give a ten minute talk at a speaking club he belongs to on, get this, "Euclidean Geometry and its Relation to Post Modernism Architecture" and he wanted some tips. You know he got two answers in a day! Well two serious ones anyway, the others were just general ragging and bagging. Esoteric, eh?
Access all areas
Last month I gave you a run down on the first five message areas on the BBS and I said I'd carry on this month. Well, due to the evolution of the BBS, I've got to do a little backtracking.
Area 12: Hints and Tips
This is a new area that, we hope, will become our library of answers to frequently asked questions. Please do not chat in this area but do refer to it for information.
Area 15: Members messages to the Committee
Ooh, couldn't you have fun in here? Just don't sign it with my name. Seriously, if you have a view you wish to express, this is the place.
Area 16: Melb PC SIG Reports
Convenors of SIGs post reports in here. You can ask them when the next one is and what's on or to clarify some point made at the last meeting.
Area 17: Hardware
So, your video card and CPU are having a trial separation? Well the gurus in here may have the solution. (I read it because it makes me feel like I know something.)
Area 18: Quicken
On account of me being of no account when it comes to keeping accounts, I haven't used this area much. To its credit, the help you can get on this excellent program will leave you in debt to it.
He's Baaaccckkk!!
It's old news to you now, back as I write this it's only a week or so since Charles Wright stepped down as club president. Now when I joined the club just before the last AGM, Charles was a very active member of the messagers but when he became president his presence on the BBS dropped off to virtually nil. When he did appear most of us treated his messages as not available for pulling apart and misquoting. Which I'm sure was the right move. But now!, like Arnold Schwarzenegger in most of his movies, Charles is back stalking the echoes and dealing it out, left and right, to the deserving. I thought I'd give him a nice quiet welcome back (just to lull him into a false sense of security, of course) but the old curmudgeon saw straight through me!
Serious mode on: I would like to thank Charles for his efforts as President of Melb PC and wish him a long and happy return to the ranks of the normal membership. Serious mode off.
Gee, I'm glad I don't do that too often.
Here's the tag: ... I'm a lawyer. "Honest?!". No, the usual kind.
Reprinted from the May 1994 issue of PC Update, the magazine of Melbourne PC User Group, Australia
